Somehow

I want to know Christ.

I want to know perfect love, perfect faith, perfect righteousness. I want to understand and be capable of it.

I want to know the power of his resurrection.

I want to know, even though we all will die, that life is more than that. I want to know that we can be free from the fear of death, the fear of meaninglessness, the competition for resources and power. I want to know that we are capable of more than that.

I want to participate in his suffering.

Life is pain (anyone who says differently is selling something) and there is no need to go out seeking it, but I want to know that pain can be redeemed. I want to sacrifice for something and have good come out of it.

I want to be like him in death.

I want to die, to give my life and my living for truth, for justice, for freedom, for love.

I don't know if there is a resurrection. I don't know if there is any hope. But if there is, I believe that this is the way we will find it.

And so--

somehow

--to attain the resurrection.